Have been up for two hours ... No coffee or caffs since yesterday AM. No food. Goin' for a test. I feel like a dog:
Yeah, Where are we goin' without my AM usuals? No food or coffee till half-way through. Drivin' with Ms. M for Fun n' Games at the Hospital. Ach du Lieber! I'm not really a Dog ... no matter how often I open the car window and bark-hello to my cousins with their heads out the window and their ears flappin' in the wind. Anyhow! My ears don't flap.
Hey, Howard. Wanna go for ride in Car?
Sure! Woof! Where we goin'? (wag-wag)
Yeah, Where are we goin' without my AM usuals? No food or coffee till half-way through. Drivin' with Ms. M for Fun n' Games at the Hospital. Ach du Lieber! I'm not really a Dog ... no matter how often I open the car window and bark-hello to my cousins with their heads out the window and their ears flappin' in the wind. Anyhow! My ears don't flap.
Still ... Been here ... Done this, before.
730 AM:
Wonder if M Would have married me in 1965 if she knew I'd be sitting 50 years later in a hospital waiting room till the "guard" comes to get me to take me back for my cardiac stress test today. Checking on Defective Goods, this morning ... a heart that doesn't quite maintain a regular:
"ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom"
but, instead, goes its own way. They've already injected me ... nice guy ... had my oldest married young, this guy coulda been my grandson. Good humor ... good IV giver.
Now I sit for 45 minutes for the fluids to pass into all the arteries that need be seen and wait to be summoned back to the Holy of Holies. Not nearly as much fun as barking-hello to my canine cousins. M is sitting next to me ... most likely worried about the guy she married who grew old (she's 18 months younger than me) and worried, too, about her upcoming joint replacement. I'm sitting here wearing a 1986 T-Shirt that I bought in a Citroen rally in 1986. It has a picture of an early 1970's Citroem Maserati ... an artifact of a Europe that worked on joint projects 40 years ago and the car that Number One Son drove into a curb causing $14,000 worth of damage.
I have on: running shoes, sweat pants, a heart monitor reading 49 bpm and a beret. The wearing of berets precedes M ... When I was a religious Jewish kid growing up in marginal neighborhoods, I found that I was less safe wearing a Jewish skullcap and being recognized as a hated minority than if I wore a beret and other adolescents accused me of being Gay. So, here we are ... waiting for the kid-techs and the relevant Docs to do their magic.Me, M and the Beret.
I have on: running shoes, sweat pants, a heart monitor reading 49 bpm and a beret. The wearing of berets precedes M ... When I was a religious Jewish kid growing up in marginal neighborhoods, I found that I was less safe wearing a Jewish skullcap and being recognized as a hated minority than if I wore a beret and other adolescents accused me of being Gay. So, here we are ... waiting for the kid-techs and the relevant Docs to do their magic.Me, M and the Beret.
815 AM:
I get brought back. Been there, done this ... many times. I keep telling my Doctors that I have a stress test every time my atrium does its Wildman Thing its afib. They keep agreeing but want me on the treadmill, hooked up to and EKG and taking Before and After Pictures of the Highways and Biways that carry the nutrients that feed my heart. I begin chugging away on the treadmill while the attending Cardiologist shouts orders to his tech ...
Doc to Tech: Schultzie, Machen zee elevation higher!
Mach higher, much higher!
Again, Schultze, again.
Target Zone, Schultze, 130 bpm.
Higher on der elevation, Schultz!
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8:45 AM:
The Doc is obviously disappointed. The heart-slowing drugs I took yesterday? The ones my Doctor has me taking? Well. They don't let my heart go as fast as it does when it just wants to go fast ... not as quickly as Doc wants
Doc: We're gonna stop this.
Howard: I'm doin' fine.
Doc: No. It's enough. We'll get you back in 45 minutes for more pictures. See if we caused ya any damage. (Doc titters just a little bit) ...
"Ah! Just a little Cardiologist joke."
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Making peace with getting older! What Does it mean?
M is having Surgery ... joint replacement, aka, Black and Decker Surgery where they -- with an electric rotary saw -- cut out one joint and -- with high tensile glues -- put in a steel or carbon fiber stand-in.
Wouldn't it be easier to just clone your loved-one with one of those 3-D CAD copying machines?
And the aging visitors to my office are missing -- one by one -- just about every part imaginable ... and I? I? I still can't remember where I put my memory?
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Fri 23 Oct ... The Docs begin calling telling me that everything's OK cardiologically but they saw something on my left lung.
Howard: That's just peachy. Not quite like Machu Peachy!
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Mon 26 Oct
Howard brings the films over to a friend. He looks and calls later.
Friend: I'd just ignore it.
Maybe I will.
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Luncheon time, this week, with two friends who are surviving prostate cancer. Ouch!!
The Psalmist said that our years are 70 but if we're equipped with the trappings of warriorship? then, 80. ... Oh, well! The Cat and Gunther Dog are not likely to be around, but overtime begins for M and H at 80! Maybe, I'll build us a bench to sit upon?!
Blessed are you, King of the Universe, who gives to the weary ... strength.
ברוך אתה, מלך העולם ... הנותן ליעף כח.
