Finished seeing the Visitors to my office, yesterday, and went to see a thoughtful man ... Itamar Lurie ... maybe just beginning the Fourth Quarter ... talking about his work among the damned ... working as a facilitator of groups from the the opposing sides of Middle East conflicts (his and the Others') and the complexity of working with "these Others" individually with their life crises. It was -- no other way to describe it -- moving. I was moved to Tears by the Hopelessness: justified or otherwise ... moved to Laughter by his choice in going on with Good Humor and Love, nonetheless.
"Those who seed with Tears? With Joy will they gather."
(from Psalms -- where?)
So much carnage ... M who is having a rough time walking listens to the News a great deal ... me, as well. I see Wars and Hatred most places my eyes point ... Acts of Kindness here and there to act as counterpoint, I suppose.
My visitors often get caught up in wondering what the use of going on is ... They see little but illness and death coming towards them. What can an Old Man say? Those of us blessed enough to make it into the Last Quarter and beyond are not unaware of the reality ... Dark times are "nearer than you think." Yes, yes ...
"Always think of the Bright Side of Life."
It's a Good Joke and a Necessary Illusion for continuing to entertain the three things the Writer of Ecclesiastes leaves the reader: The Love of Another (Others?); the Love of God; and the attempt to Lead the Good Life. Everything else the writer who calls himself Kohelles describes as Foul Wind ... as so much Farting.
Is there meaning in this Game of Life? Is their purpose in my life? There was a Mathematician (Conway?) who developed a game that allowed the player to play -- well -- God ... to choose a certain initial state for the Universe of Settlements and then to predict how that initial state will play out in thousands of generations where the only rules are that too close and too far both lead to destruction for the unfortunates that are either ... too far or too near to their fellow folk. I'm quite certain that one can find computerized versions on line but our human propensity to see the Other ... the Ethically or Politically or Racially Different ... as the enemy seems unending.
Go back to the drawing board, Dr. Conway.
Life is more complicated than any two-rule Game.
Is that among the anguishes of Playing in This Last Quarter? Knowing full well that our fantasy that Wars and Hatred would come to an end during our Pass-By ... our tenure in Life ... was just that ... a fantasy.
I maintain Hope that M's surgery this Fall will bring her relief from walking-pain ... that my kids and grandkids will thrive and that the sundry illnesses in my family will resolve. I am not-at-all hopeful that the Middle East will settle or that the Libs and the Conservatives will stop their deprecating attacks on each other or that violence will stop in the Americas.
And since I cannot do anything else, today, M and I will travel to go visit one of our teenage Grand-spawn! We'll get in a car and look at the Autumn's Beauty and pause just now and then to cry over the carnage.
.......
So, here's a fragment from the late Stanley Kunitz's poem, Halley's Comet, written when he was very old:
Miss Murphy in the first grade
wrote its name in chalk
across the board and told us
it was roaring down the stormtracks
of the Milky Way at frightful speed
and if it wandered off its course
and smashed into the earth
there'd be no school tomorrow.
Funny guy, Stanley!
