How does one make peace ... befriend .... the need to take care of others. Before we left on our road-trip (600+ miles is a lot more than it once was), I began talking about the Dance of Glee and Sadness. But there are, indeed, many such dichotomies beyond the Big Two, with another being Being Taken Care Of .... and Taking Care Of.
My sense is that those who cannot Dance, cannot, to use another metaphor, Juggle the Dichotomies of Life fall ill to misery. When Samantha's spouse saw things Differently than she did, he was seen by her as calling her Wrong. When he was in need of Being Taken Care OF, she felt Abandoned and loudly expressed her feelings of Abandonment. To paraphrase some Justice whose name I can't recall: the expressed need to say 'but I was JUST* expressing my feelings' is the last refuge of scoundrels ... well .... the dominant refuge of personality disordered folk. (*One of the lesser-known transplanted to the USA Hungarian psychoanalysts from Europe, Sandor Feldman, used to say that anytime a person uses the word "JUST," the listener should be aware that there must be much more that isn't being said .... in this case something like ... 'I'm expressing a feeling for the purpose of beating you over the head with it .... more about healthful and toxic sharing of feelings, later on.)
Whether through words or gestures, actions or facial grimacing, those folk who haven't learned how to Dance with the Many Dichotomies of Life tend to wreak havoc on their environment ... and Players in the Last Quarter are no exception.
Any case, a four day holiday and by the time we picked up Pooch at the kennel, we were washed out. Enough for today to list three of these dichotomies.
- Sad Happy
- Taking Care Of Being Taken Care Of
- Sense of Distance Sense of Closeness.
I look forward to thinking out loud about these and others.
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