Standing Alone

We all have our idiosyncratic views, I suppose. I can't tell whether my comfort in being alone on some matter has increased or has always been like that. I find, indeed, far more ease in being with someone who sees the World somewhat differently than I do ... I don't find comfort with those who believe they own the truth ... what I call the Capital-T Truth.

Maybe that's what drew me to Mathematics or maybe I got that from being immersed in Mathematics for some many years. Mathematics is deductive ... that is, after articulating some unprovable and very elementary principles (Axioms or Postulates), proofs yield conclusions. Change your Axioms? Change your Mathematics. Hey, in Clock Arithmetic (Z12 in the language of the Nerdy folk), 2+2 may be 4 but 6+8=2). When I moved to the -- in many ways -- far more complex World of Human Relatedness and the Demons of the Psyche, I came upon thinkers who (almost each and every one of them) believe they have the correct version of reality.

Whether online or face-to-face, I keep hearing in many others' comments their belief that they know that Truth. Just in the past day, my view (often inherent in my comments here on Ye Olde Farte Blog) that Sadness is something akin to the lonely child's cry for company from his or her crib ... much like a night-time jail cell, replete with Bars and Locking Mechanisms. Mom or Dad shows up and Sad Crying can turn to

"Geez! I'm glad to see ya, Mom. 

Have a seat and let's talk about how we're gonna play and explore, tomorrow ... 

Oh, and ya kin hold me, too."

Depression, on the other hand and much of the time, I see as a protective withdrawal from experiencing that Sadness into a kind of:

"Mom, Dad! I don't even expect you to come anymore.

Fuck ya! I'll play dead or angry-dead."

I find it interesting that researchers find it new and reportable that most depressions respond better (at least, as well) to physical activity as to medicine and, in my experience with people, better-still to physical activity done with another. To my way of thinking, this is expectable.

I see Anger as another way to deal with pain and vulnerability and closely tied to Depression. Yeah, yeah ... I have seen a few angry folk who seem to have brain problems ... one who had painfully engorged sinuses ... but almost all who have "crossed" my path seem to be seeking to push me away.

(Please, Please ... Somebody comment with a joke ... I just re-read the above ... Gawd! It's dry.)

Here's one that I heard from one of the great Mathematicians of the 20th C, Alexander Grothendiek, who recently died and who said that he had heard this in either a Concentration Camp or a Displaced Persons Camp ... I don't recall.

A husband and wife -- after years of marriage -- go to their Master 

for a blessing to help them get pregnant. 

The Master cooperates. A year later, the guy comes back.

"Master, Master. 

You gave us a Blessing and now my wife is heavy with child.

It's a Blessing! It's a Blessing!"

The Master continues: 

"Let me tell you a story. 

A man was walking in the woods on a rainy day 

when suddenly he saw an eight foot bear 

beginning to charge him for lunch or conversation or something. 

The man didn't know what to do. 

"Good thing it's a rainy day." 

He got down on his knees and pointed his outstretched umbrella at the charging bear. 

Then a big loud noise was heard. 

BOOM! The bear fell down dead.

"Do you understand, my Son?"

"It was a miracle. It was a miracle."

"That's possible, my Son. 

But it could be that there was a man behind him carrying a shotgun!"

(Now, I feel better.)