Zen -- Western-Mother-in-Law Style

Before I understood M's mother's experience

of suffering in the Last Quarter, 

I sent the old lady the following cavalier

(dis)missive about her aching dotage.

I think I now get it! Alas.

Zen ****ism - - 

(You pick the ism -- as written to M's Mother many years ago)

If there is no self,

whose arthritis is this?

Be here now.

Be someplace else later.

Is that so complicated?

Drink tea and nourish life.

With the first sip?... joy.

With the second? ... satisfaction.

With the third? ... peace.

With the fourth? ... a danish.

Wherever you go, there you are.

Your luggage is another story.

Accept misfortune as a blessing.

Do not wish for perfect health

or a life without problems

or a bug-free Universe.

What would you kvetch about?

The journey of a thousand miles

begins with a single "ouch."

There is no escaping karma.

In a previous life, you never called,

you never wrote, you never visited.

And whose fault was that?

Zen is not easy.

It takes effort to attain nothingness.

And then what do you have?

The Tao does not speak.

The Tao does not blame.

The Tao does not take sides.

The Tao has no expectations.

The Tao demands nothing of others.

The Tao is not a Mother-in-Law.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Forget this? and attaining Enlightenment

will be the least of your problems.

Let your mind be as a floating cloud.

Let your stillness be as the wooded glen.

And sit up straight. You'll never meet the Buddha 

with those rounded shoulders.

Be patient and achieve all things.

Be impatient and achieve all things faster.

To Find the Buddha, look within.

Deep inside you are ten thousand flowers.

Each flower blossoms ten thousand times.

Each blossom has ten thousand petals.

You might want to see a specialist.

To practice Zen and the art of Western

motorcycle maintenance, do the following:

get rid of the motorcycle.

What were you thinking?

Be aware of your body.

Be aware of your perceptions.

Keep in mind that not every physical sensation 

is a symptom of a terminal illness.

The Bible says: "Love thy neighbor as thyself."

The Buddha says there is no "self."

So, maybe you are off the hook.

Though only your skin, sinews, and bones remain, 

though your blood and  flesh

dry up and wither away, yet shall you meditate and not stir 

until you have attained full Enlightenment.

But, first, let's do brunch.