Expressions! Expressions!

It's good M is around for a variety of reasons. One of those that may be low on hierarchies of importance has to do with the parsing of expressions. I'm not particularly adept at figuring out nuanced differences, even among expressions that other people seem to take for granted. And M seems to have held on to that capacity, in spite of being 49 years older than when we married. Marriage apparently affects people differently and my brain conspicuously has aged more rapidly than her brain.

The simplest of examples came to mind while arising this AM .... arising? "Howard arising and in phase with Jupiter?" Never you mind! The example was this whole thing about "half-full" or "half-empty." I always need to pause a moment to process which purportedly represents optimism? which pessimism? After all, I tell myself often when pondering something that must be simpler than Homological Algebra or the Riemann-Roch-Grothendiek Theorem, "just half-empty" is optimistic but "half-empty" is supposed to be pessimistic. I'm not certain abut "not quite half-empty," either. And the same problems obtain with "half-full," "just half-full," and "not quite half-full."

Each time I come to this expression, I get caught up -- for just seconds, but caught up, nonetheless -- in whether this person is expressing optimism and pessimism. Damn! Just tell me ... are you feeling one way or the other! Inevitably, I ask myself at such moments deserving of some Flying Fickle Finger of Fate Award:

Howard, what about your confreres, the proud Denizens of the Last Quarter?

Are we "Three Quarters on Empty," "Still a Quarter Full," "Only a Quarter Full" or "Only a Quarter Full with no Gas Stations in sight?" You get my drift, you're in my draft, the faucets drip, the Buddha laughs.

There comes quickly a time when I look at the speaker and ask the more direct question; I ask it quietly in my mind, for otherwise I get these looks which are equally hard to process and I take to mean:

Poor Ole Boy. 

He used to be able to tell the difference between Lunesta and Levitra. 

Not sure that he knows any longer which is for sleeping and which is for staying "up."

But back to Optimism and Pessimism. The world does seem to divide along somesuch fault with Optimism on one side and Pessimism on the other .... with a Gorge in the middle that most people don't seem confident to cross. And while the Optimists may be deluded, the Pessimists seem to respond to every possible situation with why it won't work or why it wasn't good, afterall. 

It's a Wonderful day, today?

                       But I have a pimple on my butt-cheek.

Spring is here and the Magnolias are in bloom.

                       With those sticky petals due to drop next week.

Sex was great.

                       The bed is wet.

Among my favourites, though, are the invitees or guests at a party. I cannot think of a single party in which someone wasn't unhappy about: the food; the directions; who got invited and who didn't; the recommended attire; the dust in the corner; or what the hostess is wearing. I remember a dinner party in 1961. One of my parents' long-time friends, Bessie, had come the day before, borrowed my Sister's shoes and managed to wear them out. Fair enough but that night at dinner, she was shocked and kept repeating:

No Soup! No Soup? 

Whaddya mean, there's no Soup? 

There's gotta be Soup!

One can only wonder how some came to committed to allowing no good to stand without sullying it, in some way. Sad. 

Moral of my story? If you suspect someone of arriving at your Kid's wedding complaining about the directions, next time give them the wrong directions!