'Kids say the darndest things' or whatever the title was. Linkletter was chances are 55-60, tall, blonde and looked like a good American. He'd get down on one knee with his microphone and kids would divulge all kinds of homey secrets about the way they thought? but mostly about their parents' quirks and closed doors. Pretty racy stuff for 50's TV, in the days before Weather Ladies were hot all year!
My kids are 46, 45 and 36 ... Oops, Oops II, and the only one that was planned (in that order). Who planned in those days in the 1960's? Who thought about retirement issues? No wonder half a generation is scattering about to fing 3 hots and a cot and doing films about old people's death .... The Savages, Away from Her, ... Who thought about ...? Hell, who could spell eschatology and worry about its four horsemen .... Death, Judgement, Heaven and Hell?
Oh, I included Heaven in the Eschatalogical Four. Well, you do still have to talk to your kids about death even if you're scheduled for meetings with the Superos ... There was a Doctor in Vienna who on the frontis piece of his first big book (it didn't sell out a first run ~ 200 copies for years) who wrote on its title page quoting from who knows what Latin speaking scholar: Flectere si nequeo Superos .... If I cannot effectively bend the Heavenly ... Ascheronta movebo ... I may as well deal with those others who live along Hell's River Ascheron.
Talking to kids about details surrounding your own death is like pulling THEIR teeth in Hell. You enter such discussions not thrilled yourself about the prospect ... (Hey! I'm writing to those who haven't given up Playing in the Fourth Quarter) ... I'm just sayin'.
Good that I'm not Bill Gates, Sheldon Adelson, or David Koch .... I was just asking about the family scroll. It belonged to my grandfather's grandfather and my grandfather carried it to the USA when he emigrated in the Teens. It doesn't have a lot of extrinsic $ value ... and there I was asking who might become the guardian of this piece of religious family history.
It was reminiscent of 30 years ago when we took our only male St. Bernard to a Doc to find out about his xenophobia ... he was particularly unhappy about visitors wearing fur. The Doc said: 'Have you considered castrating him?' Poor fellow, took his paw and covered his eyes, as if to say: Hey, Guys ... I'm vaia con Dios outa this place as soon as you look the other way. Just like that, my oldest grandchild explained how she just didn't want to talk about this. Some younger ones said: 'But you're not old.' and one of my kids said: "I just don't feel ready to talk about this."
Maybe I should donate the scroll to the producers of Raiders of the Lost Ark and buy a dusty Stetson.
Interesting how we always look to children for guidance nearly as much as they look to us. The areas of taboo have yet to be delineated and so the candid little cherubs are free to run amok. Not so for us -- us aged individuals.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what is the reluctance (or the flat out aphasia) that arises when an older family member confronts one on the subject (or a subject related to) his or her impeding death. Not necessarily what it stems from, but what it is. It's not as if anyone (hopefully not) believes that by speaking on such a matter the death will come at once, that there open unfettered acceptance of a loved one's eventual death will pave the way for such an event. ...Or maybe they do! There's a popular phrase "don't jinx it" that I have encountered many times in my life. One might be surprised by how many people mean that phase when they say it. Perhaps the reluctance in speaking on such things as you've described above is a result of people not wanting to feel attached to someone's death, better said, to not feel implicated -- as funny as that might sound.