"Leaving on a Jet Plane," as the song goes, but not till tomorrow.
When I began writing these bi/tri-weekly notes, thought it good way to stay in touch with myself, particularly, but with M and "the Spawn," too. I had found that journaling without potential witnesses had its drawbacks. Aloneness and a 'slow-creep-factor,' an ooze toward fiction. That others might listen in to what it was like Playing in the Last Quarter, I thought, might keep me honest. I did have some experience in this, before.
When my first grand-spawn was due, I began writing to her by e-mail. She had no name. It became a series of "Dear Cletus the Foetus" notes sent to her entourage .... future grandparents, parents and uncles and aunt. It was a first for the entire entourage ... first grandchild for all four of us ... first child for the parents .... first niece for the older uncles and aunt, to be. Other members of l'entourage joined in .... betimes, with new advices for Cletus ... how she might choose to appear or when or what she might do when she did ... even how she might shop.
I have had other experiences in self-disclosure, including some online-published and very personal reflections on my visions of retirement ... in the form of doggerel. I'd been writing "Ditties et Lettres du Abe Isaacs," short (well, mostly short pieces) and whimsical poems about an old guy in my field. Of course, Abe is a close relative of his author ... very close.
I'm still enjoying this.
While away, I'd like to write a bit about those who don't dance ... who cannot, to try another metaphor, juggle glee and sadness, the good with the bad .... Here, I need to work things out in my head.
I have a favorite bit from Scripture ... from Leviticus 19 .... maybe 19:20 or so .... It defines the difficulty I have in proceeding: Traditionally, the first half of the passage goes:
Don't go loose-lipped among your people, (but) don't stand idly by as your neighbor bleeds;
The passage traditionally has a much terser second half:
I am God.
I have a right to discuss my own stuff, but the confidentiality that I owe to others is -- if you take Scripture seriously -- no light matter.
Going away to speak and to think.
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